Six rules for being friends with an ex

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I literally found her lost in the woods 20 years ago and we got along so well. And instead of confronting our environment and saying 'Listen we made a decision, but that doesn't mean that we hate each other, we just want to live a different live'. Just remember that building a friendship after a relationship is work.

After moving all my stuff out and starting my life over -- new place, new relationship, new me -- I realized that Jeff was like family and I missed him. The Frisky: Celebrities who've dated their bosses 4. Today - 8 years after the divorce, we are still great friends.

Six rules for being friends with an ex

They give us support, joy, and companionship. They serve as a valuable source for advice. And they give us a sense of belonging. But what if that is with an ex-romantic partner? Being friends with an ex presents some key challenges. How do you navigate the shift from an intimate, affectionate, sexual relationship to a platonic friendship characterized by some, but not too much, emotional intimacy? How do you manage the emotions of a breakup so that you can maintain a connection with your ex, but still feel free to move on to a different? Earlier research by Mogilski and Welling 2016 also tried to figure out the motives for why people are friends with an ex. Together these studies suggest that there are a variety of reasons, not all of them helpful, why people decide to stay friends with an ex. Should you try to be friends with your ex? Research suggests it depends on your motives: 1. Friendships make us feel safe and fulfill needs, so it's no surprise that security is a key reason people stay friends with an ex Griffith et al. Building a friendship with an ex for security motives is tied to positive outcomes in that friendship e. This reflects what Mogilski and Welling identify as sentimentality. Maybe you shared a lot of great times, you're used to talking to him or her, you trust them, and enjoy their company. Emotional support, comfort, and connection are strong motivations for keeping a friendship after a romantic relationship falls apart. Forget about emotions: Sometimes people stay friends with their ex for purely pragmatic purposes. Other practical reasons include hookup potential with an ex, the ability to manage shared friends or to navigate shared resources, , or children. Maybe you don't really want to be friends, but you do want to be polite and are considerate with your ex's feelings. These are documented reasons to maintain a friendship with an ex Griffith et al. For some people — especially those high in attachment anxiety — it might be easier to be friends than to engage in a potential confrontation. It might not end well Griffith et al. They're still in love, can't imagine the ex with someone else, or didn't want the relationship to end in the first place. All of these reasons can drive someone to keep up a friendship with an ex-partner. Maybe they were never really very attracted to the ex, felt the love dissipate, the relationship didn't mean much, or there were no hard feelings after the breakup. No matter your motives, navigating a friendship with an ex isn't always easy, but you're not alone: Some evidence suggests that most of us roughly 60 percent are friends with at least one ex-romantic partner, with about 20 percent reporting that they're friends with more than one ex Griffith et al. Interestingly, data suggest that LGBTQ individuals tend to maintain more post-relationship friendships than heterosexuals Griffith et al. This builds on evidence suggesting a particularly heightened emphasis on friendship and intimacy in LGBTQ relationships. This perhaps suggests that the centrality of friendship to a romantic relationship might be part of the equation that helps determine if a friendship might develop post-relationship, and if it could be a good one. The idea to stay as friends with ex is almost like recalling past. The relationship break up would have taken place either by initiation of one partner or may be both. Once the break up been accepted by both parties to separate their lives from each other, the point of being friends with each other will recall the past. As a result it is often difficult for one of the partners to move on with their individual lives. They may either hold on to the emotional past or memories, the idea of friendship with ex will take them back to the good and bad days with their ex. Even though for security or for practical reasons or civility or unresolved attraction, one partner will find it difficult to overcome the past emotions so far they keep friendship with ex. If children are involved, to a certain extent one partner may have to remain as friends with ex for the welfare of the child. In other cases, it is better to let go of the emotions and feelings to prepare for a fresh start in life for long term peace of mind. I stayed friends because whatever qualities that I fell in love with, despite overwhelming differences, were still there, and still honorable. And NO, we don't 'hang out' like we used to, but we catch up with each other from time to time and it's enjoyable and heartwarming to know they are happy and successful in their lives. The only ones I'm not still friends with are the ones who got angry because the relationship failed. Don't pretend like relationships are just about sex. You are just selfish, and like the desperate attention you receive. All this BS from people that seem to think they are so enlightened by having an EX attached to their leg, are so full of shit.

And, of course, there are the guys that I know I won't ever see or speak with ever again. Researchers in this study found regardless of if you did the north or if you were the one who was dumped, if you were friends with your ex before your relationship, you were more likely to remain friends after the relationship ended. All i took was a visit to the website and a request for a specific love spell, and Dr Muna custodes powers began to work their magic. Consider taking some time to explore the things that you are passionate about and learn more about yourself as an independent person before diving back into a relationship. A catastrophic breakup can feel like the end of the world. Responsible things slowly - only allow your friendship to mature when doing so seems natural.